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Quentin Investigates… Hotel California – Hotel Insurance

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Hello again chaps! Sorry I haven’t been around for a while, I’ve been re-evaluating my empty shell of a life. You may recall when I started writing for CompareCrazy I had just had a bit of an acrimonious split from the other half and I moved temporarily into a hotel so I thought I’d write a little blog about hotel insurance, something which the guys at CompareCrazy tell me is a particular speciality.

'You can check out but you can never leave!'
‘You can check out but you can never leave!’

I’ll be honest with you. I am still staying in said hotel. This is for two reasons; firstly convenience and the fact I haven’t found a house I like yet and secondly, the complete entertainment and hilarity factor. Basil Fawlty would have a breakdown in here, the place is that surreal. Obviously I’m not going to give you the name of it, but suffice to say after having been here for two months now I have dubbed it the Hotel California, as per the famous Eagles song, the lyrics of which include ‘You can check out but you can never leave’ which is starting to become quite apt really.

'It's breakfast time, there's no need to be afraid!'
‘It’s breakfast time, there’s no need to be afraid!’

Naturally I have spoken with the management in respect of getting one of the guys to offer them a quotation for the hotel insurance as and when it becomes due for renewal which they are more than happy about, but there are certain things you just can’t insure against such as utterly mad guests, and staff. For example I was sitting in the reception a couple of evenings ago at just after 7pm, (that’s 7PM, it’s important!) when what can only be described as a mad old bag lady came down the stairs, stared at the guy behind reception and asked “Am I too late for breakfast?” This in itself was amusing enough to make me spit my beer, but when the guy looked round at the various clocks above reception, it was plain that the times were wrong in London (3.11), New York (7.15), Europe (2.00), Moscow (5.17), Tokyo (4.10) and Sydney (11.18). Well, the guy just looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders in a show of complete and utter ‘I must be in a parallel universe’ kind of mental shutdown. Sadly I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as I, and a friend who’d joined me were in fits of laughter.

There was another occasion a couple of days after I’d just moved in when one of the staff knocked the door of my room and asked me if he could borrow the light bulb above the shaving mirror in my bathroom. Now as far as I was aware, nobody had put anything in my drink that day, although I may be completely wrong. Someone had clearly put something in his drink though, as if you’ll excuse the pun, the light was on but there was nobody in! He did however return the light bulb a couple of hours later but in fairness I was so disturbed by these goings on I was too afraid to ask for the reasoning behind his bizarre request, although I haven’t see him again since. Whether he’s sat somewhere within the hotel in a very dark room remains to be seen!

Unfortunately at this moment in time we do not have the facility to compare insanity insurance here at CompareCrazy, but for hotel insurance be sure to click to The business insurance comparison site!

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